With Love, Men

Men and Sex

Jake Fishbein & Nick Papadopoulos

In this episode of With Love, Men, co-hosts Jake Fishbein and Nick Papadopoulos tackle one of the most avoided topics in men's work: sexuality and physical intimacy. Opening with a striking story from a joint men's and women's group session where men were paralyzed by fear while women spoke explicitly and comfortably about sex, they explore why this topic remains so taboo—even in spaces designed for vulnerable conversation.

Nick shares how religious shame, non-affectionate parents, and childhood sexual abuse distorted his relationship with intimacy for decades. Jake opens up about growing up in the internet age, his father's warnings, and how chat rooms became his secretive, shame-filled introduction to sexuality—eventually getting caught with all his conversations saved on AOL for his parents to read.

The hosts examine how shame creates profound disconnection in relationships, with men hiding everything from porn addiction to their honest desires from their partners. They turn the mirror on themselves as facilitators, asking why they avoid addressing sex in men's groups when they tackle every other area of life. Jake shares how Nick's transformative homework assignment—"go get laid in two weeks"—helped him redefine his entire relationship with sexuality.

The conversation deepens as they explore sex as the ultimate vulnerability of being truly seen, and offer practical invitations for normalizing these crucial conversations and letting go of sexual shame.

🔑 Topics Covered

  • Why women spoke explicitly about sex while men froze in fear at a joint group session
  • Early messages that shaped sexuality: religious shame, parental formality, and internet-age secrecy
  • How shame creates disconnection and secrecy in committed relationships
  • Why sex is the one topic consistently avoided in men's groups—even by facilitators
  • Jake's transformative "go get laid in two weeks" homework assignment
  • The vulnerability paradox: Sex as being ultimately seen and connected to creation
  • Practical steps for normalizing sex conversations and letting go of shame

💡 Reflective Prompt

What shame are you still carrying around sex and intimacy? What would it take for you to normalize conversations about your sexuality—first with yourself, then with your partner, and potentially with trusted friends?

📍 Links + Resources

💼 Connect with Us on LinkedIn:

  • Jake Fishbein
  • Nick Papadopoulos

With Love, Jake & Nick